I know, I paint an idyllic picture. So when my alarm went off, I half expected to shut it off, hit snooze for the first of 7 or so times. But I tried to wake up my man, then bounded off downstairs, cheerful as could be.
Sickening. Really, I'm disgusted with myself.
A little over a week ago, I tried my first workout, as prescribed by 4HB. Remember, we are talking Minimally Effective Dose, so when I read that the workout takes between 5-10 minutes, I was all "let's go!"
I was embarrassed to start. T.E. wanted to work out together. I wanted to crawl in a hole and hide until he went away. I was the fat kid in gym class. I never made it even 1/4 of the way up that damn rope. I sucked at basketball...and running? Ha. The idea of my love watching me sweat it out was as scary as I could imagine in that moment. These were new exercises to us both, so I watched him first, helped him correct posture or leg placement, stuff like that. When it was my turn, I asked him for a couple of favors.
1. Could he please not laugh at me, or ridicule me, or make fun of me in any way? (There was, realistically, about 0% chance of this happening, but I needed to hear the reassurance.)
2. Could he please not watch right away? Let me start and then ask for help if I needed it.
I was very nervous about working out with the kettle-bells, a piece of gym equipment I have seen used, but had never picked up before that day.
The workout begins with 15 dead lifts of the KB (kettle-bell). Stand facing a wall with your feed about 6" back, legs spread a bit, toes at 10 and 2. Place KB in the middle, and lift to standing, placing KB back in same spot each time. You stand next to the wall to get the proper alignment, so you aren't lifting with your back (if you try, you'll hit your face on the wall). After that, Ferris recommends 15 kind of pre-swing moves. Standing away from the wall (middle of room), lift and swing KB just a bit forward and let the downswing go between your legs. Follow this with actually full KB swings, bringing the KB out to about face height in front of you.
Here's a pic, courtesy of Women's Health Magazine:
T. E purchased a 25 pound KB to start us out.
Holy fuck. Holy fucking fuck. 75 reps. Dear god. I thought I was going to dieeeeee.
Follow that with 20 "lay on your back and fuck the air type moves" (I think Ferris calls it something about Glute Raises or something):
After this workout, which took....eh...probably 15 minutes between my panting and death rattle...I could barely walk. My legs felt like jell-o and I wanted to cut them off. I got in a cold shower immediately, but was in such immense pain the rest of that night and the next day. I could barely get up the stairs without dragging myself up the banister with my arms. Sitting down to pee was a 10 minute chore of maneuvering and bargaining with a sadistic god.
I called upon my friends on the Facebook for advice. I need to do this workout 3x a week and on my rest day I could not walk! Crowd sourcing is an amazing thing. Here's what I learned:
-Stretch (OH, right...I forgot that was a thing. O__o)
-Ice
-Protein immediately after workout
-Foam Massage Roll (must order this thing, it looks awesome!)
I am going to try ice baths soon, just not yet.
I stretched repeatedly on my rest day, trying to recover. By the time I was ready for my 2nd attempt at this workout, I was still in pain, but less so. I began with some yoga to limber up a bit (5 sun salutations, then some butterflies, half-saddles, and cow-face. Stretched out my legs, particularly my hips and thighs.
I only did about 15 dead lifts for that second workout, and then moved on to the glute raises and flying dogs. I wasn't about to injure myself further. Then I did a protein shake (8oz water with powder mix), and iced the tops of my thighs and back for about 10-15 min. each.
By Friday, the third workout, I was able to do 50 swings, and then the rest of the workout as prescribed. It was laborious...and I laid on the floor and cried after my last flying dog. I have this weird (but not too painful) feeling in the back of my knees when I extend for the flying dog. It's like one of my ligaments is a guitar string someone is plucking. It's not really painful, necessarily, but it's disconcerting. And I was on my period, and cramping, and I was HUNGRY. Ohhh soo hungry. Or rather, I was CRAVING. Sugar, starch, mainly. Bread or pasta, cheese. Stuff like that. I was exhausted and I just cried for a few minutes.
I should mention that by this point, I was fine with The Engineer being in the room while I worked out. I trusted him to keep the space sacred as I struggle with this stuff, and he does. He corrects my posture, reminds me to flex my foot at the right time, and goes back to reading or doing whatever. He's not judging me. In fact, I think he's kind of proud.
I finished crying as I stretched out, and sniffled my way into the kitchen to mix up my shake, get my ice packs, and obtain a spoonful of glorious, heavenly peanut butter. I licked this luxuriously like an ice cream cone while I iced myself and told T.E. about why I was crying. He let me cry and didn't try to fix it or comfort me or rescue me.
Sunday, a day early, I did the workout for a 4th time, with no issues. There was a feeling of pushing myself, challenging my muscles, and oh god do I sweat in the 8 minutes this workout takes me. But there was no pain. My body is already adjusting.
And this morning, and 5:15, I bounded out of bed to do my workout before anything else, excited to put this spin on my day first thing. I did the FULL 75 reps (7.5 sets of 10, 30-60 seconds of rest between sets) of the KB swing, and did all the other exercises without stopping to rest, like I had been. And I felt amazing! I know we are only embarking on week 2, but my god I can already feel my body changing. I can feel muscles moving, taking shape, and my stamina is improving. I am also planning on upping the KB weight after several weeks, so that I continue challenging myself.
Before we began the plan, The Engineer joked with me that "You might even become addicted to exercise," and I politely threw him shade and said "unlikely."
Turns out my Engineer might know a thing or two. This shit rocks! :-)
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